Earlier this autumn, Apple TV+’s Ted Lasso returned for a fourth season, renewing interest in the much-loved fictional football coach. While the latest season turns its attention to women’s football, the series has always offered an interesting exploration of masculinity. Set within the world of professional football, the series explores what it means to be a man in a culture that often rewards aggression, competitiveness and emotional restraint. These qualities are associated with what sociologist R.W. Connell calls hegemonic masculinity: a dominant ideal of manhood built around strength, authority and control. Against this backdrop, Ted’s kindness, optimism and emotional intelligence appear to offer an alternative model of male leadership. Yet beneath his relentlessly positive persona lies a man struggling with anxiety, grief and an inability to accept support from others. The series therefore raises an important question: does Ted challenge traditional expectations of men, or does he simply replace the expectation that men should be emotionally stoic with one that they should always be emotionally available?
Professional sport can be understood as a world shaped by hegemonic masculinity, where traits like aggression, emotional restraint, competitiveness, dominance, and physical strength are often valued as markers of authority and success (Connell 77). In Ted Lasso, these expectations are reflected in the behaviours of several players. Team captain Roy Kent, for example, is characterised by his anger, gruff nature, and emotional guardedness, while young superstar Jamie Tartt establishes dominance through sporting ability, vanity, and arrogance. Importantly, the series does not present masculinity as a singular or fixed identity. Instead, its male characters negotiate anger, insecurity, vulnerability, and the need for approval in distinct ways throughout the series.
It is against this broader exploration of diverse masculinities that Ted himself emerges as a particularly interesting contrast to the ideals traditionally associated with professional sport. In many ways, he represents an alternative, healthier masculinity, defined by kindness, emotional intelligence, optimism, and care for others. Rather than relying on dominance or intimidation to establish authority, Ted uses humour, encouragement, folksy wisdom, and emotional generosity to make others feel comfortable and valued. This is evident in the way he responds to the players’ individual needs, organising a birthday celebration for a homesick player with his favourite items from home, introducing a suggestion box to address the team’s concerns, and arranging for the showers to be fixed (‘Biscuits’). His care also extends beyond the pitch: he builds a relationship with the owner, Rebecca, by bringing her homemade biscuits each morning and encourages team unity by organising an attempt to break the club’s supposed curse (‘Biscuits’, ‘Two Aces’). Furthermore, Ted demonstrates an investment in the personal growth of others, seeking advice on how to connect with Jamie and recognising Roy’s potential as a leader. Gradually, Ted earns the respect of the team and its fans, suggesting that, in the world of Ted Lasso, an alternative masculinity can coexist with, and potentially challenge, conventional football values.
However, Ted’s public performance of positivity does not mean that he is free from personal difficulties. While the public Ted is funny, approachable, and reassuring, the private Ted is frightened, grieving, and struggling to process the breakdown of his marriage, the distance from his son, and childhood trauma. In the season one episode ‘Make Rebecca Great Again’, for example, Ted uncharacteristically lashes out at kit man Nathan Shelley when he interrupts Ted as he prepares to sign his divorce papers. The following day, Ted apologises, but during a celebratory night out with the team, he experiences his first panic attack. His anxiety exposes the suffering concealed beneath his reassuring public persona, demonstrating that emotional intelligence does not protect him from psychological distress.
This tension between public performance and private suffering complicates the series’ portrayal of masculinity. Although Ted is highly expressive, frequently talking, joking, encouraging, and connecting with others, he struggles to disclose his own feelings. His masculinity is therefore not defined by conventional emotional restraint, but by a distinction between expressing positive emotions and acknowledging personal pain. Moreover, Ted’s kindness can become a demanding standard, positioning the good man as perpetually patient, forgiving, emotionally available and responsible for helping others heal. Ted’s optimism can thus be understood as a form of emotional labour, suggesting that even alternative forms of masculinity can become restrictive when they require men to meet unrealistic emotional expectations.
The series raises the question of whether men can genuinely practise care for others without also allowing themselves to receive care in return. Dr Sharon Fieldstone’s arrival marks a significant turning point in this respect. Ted initially approaches therapy with discomfort and resistance (‘Headspace’), attempting to establish a connection through humour and charm, only to find that Sharon does not respond as he expects. Therapy challenges his assumption that humour and emotional generosity can manage every situation, exposing the limitations of the interpersonal skills that make him such an effective coach. Although Ted is adept at recognising and responding to others’ emotions, he struggles to identify, articulate, and process his own distress.
For Ted, therapy challenges the idea that masculinity must be self-sufficient. Having constructed his identity around helping others, he must now accept the unfamiliar position of someone who needs help. This distinction reveals that, while Ted is emotionally expressive, he is not necessarily emotionally vulnerable. Crucially, his engagement with therapy does not immediately resolve his difficulties. His grief, anxiety, and childhood trauma continue to shape him, even as he learns to process his emotions. Ted Lasso therefore presents mental health as an ongoing process rather than a problem solved through a single moment of confession.
Another panic attack during a match prompts Ted to disclose the circumstances of his father’s death to Dr Sharon (‘Man City’). The revelation that his father died by suicide makes the relationship between masculinity and emotional inheritance particularly significant. Ted’s difficulty with vulnerability is not simply an individual weakness; it is shaped by his personal history, his understanding of his father’s suffering, and the ways in which men learn to manage emotional pain. The episode therefore invites us to consider whether Ted’s relentless positivity and humour function as defences against unresolved grief. Yet his decision to confide in Sharon, despite his discomfort, also represents a rejection of the expectation that men must endure and process suffering alone.
Ultimately, Ted Lasso offers a complicated vision of alternative masculinity. Although Ted challenges hegemonic masculine expectations through emotional openness and caregiving, his relentless positivity also creates new pressures, such as the expectation that men should remain emotionally available, supportive and capable of managing the feelings of others. His experiences with anxiety and therapy reveal that emotional expression is not necessarily the same as emotional vulnerability, and that accepting care can be as important as providing it. The series therefore raises an important question: can men embrace vulnerability without having to transform it into another demonstration of strength or effective leadership? Rather than presenting a definitive model of healthy masculinity, Ted Lasso suggests that its possibilities depend not only on men’s willingness to care for others, but also on their ability to acknowledge their own needs.
Works Cited:
‘Biscuits.’ Ted Lasso, directed by Zach Braff, season 1, episode 2, Apple TV+, 2020.
Connell, R.W. Masculinities. Cambridge: Polity Press, 1995.
‘Headspace.’ Ted Lasso, directed by Matt Lipsey, season 2, episode 7, Apple TV+, 2021.
‘Make Rebecca Great Again.’ Ted Lasso, directed by Declan Lowney, season 1, episode 7, Apple TV+, 2020.
‘Man City.’ Ted Lasso, directed by Matt Lipsey, season 2, episode 8, Apple TV+, 2021.
Still of ‘Believe’ sign. ‘Inverting the Pyramid of Success,’ Ted Lasso, directed by Declan Lowney, season 2, episode 12, Apple TV+, 2021. IMDB, https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14968664/mediaviewer/rm2396387073/?ref_=tt_ov_i
‘Two Aces.’ Ted Lasso, directed by Elliot Hegarty, season 1, episode 6, Apple TV+, 2020.
